May 2012
100 posts
May 25th
2,807 notes
3 tags
May 25th
35,902 notes
3 tags
Every time.
In class: 1+1=2
Exercises: 1+2+1=4
Test: John buy 4 oranges. He eats one and gives another to Ted. Calculate the sun's mass.
May 25th
184,337 notes
3 tags
May 25th
15,729 notes
3 tags
May 21st
1 note
extreme makeover: home edition
girl: i kinda like horses
ty: WE MADE YOUR ROOM INTO A HORSE AND DECORATED IT WITH HORSES AND HERE WE GOT YOU 3 PET HORSES AND WE ARE PAYING FOR SURGERY TO MAKE YOU A HORSE
May 20th
147,981 notes
May 20th
484 notes
May 20th
May 20th
4 notes
May 20th
4 notes
May 20th
2 notes
3 tags
May 18th
3,682 notes
May 18th
22,512 notes
3 tags
HOLY SHIT.
May 18th
4 notes
At school...
Me: I hate you all, you're all idiots.
Me: Why is that person staring at me.
Me: Omg what would happen if a man just burst in the room with a gun. I would totally be the heroic person who sacrifices themselves for others.
Me: No I don't know the answer to this question. Oh god, the teacher's going to call on me. My hand is not raised. Oh god oh god oh god, leave me alone. Act busy, just act busy. Abort mission, I repeat, abort mission.
Me: My stomach just growled. When the fuck is lunch.
Me: We should make a class Hunger Games. Where everyone dies.
Me: AND NOW MY PENCILS BREAKING, AND YOU ONLY WANT ME WHEN I'M TAAAKENNNN.
Me: No, seriously, never open your mouth again.
Me: Ew, my teacher has children. They're sexually active. I wonder when they had sex for the first time. I wonder if they did drugs as a teenager. I totally bet they did.
Me: Yeah, no, if a man walked in with a gun, I totally wouldn't sacrifice myself for these idiots. I would hide under my desk and tell him to just take them all.
Me: Seriously, it's only been a minute.
Me: I will never use this shit in my life.
May 18th
63,271 notes
Walmart: Let's buy 30 cash registers and only keep two open
May 17th
32,864 notes
May 17th
19,004 notes
3 tags
May 16th
6 notes
3 tags
May 16th
7 notes
3 tags
May 16th
5 notes
3 tags
May 16th
19 notes
3 tags
May 16th
8 notes
3 tags
May 16th
1 note
May 16th
11,810 notes
3 tags
May 16th
1,946 notes
May 16th
10,039 notes
3 tags
May 16th
644 notes
May 16th
2,283 notes
4 tags
May 15th
14 notes
May 15th
1,592 notes
3 tags
fungi: I hate being bipolar, it’s awesome
May 15th
414 notes
May 13th
5,840 notes
3 tags
May 13th
18,804 notes
May 13th
27,294 notes
3 tags
May 13th
38,882 notes
3 tags
chekhov:   “Hello Lifealert” “Hello Stella, are you okay?” “… is your refrigerator running?” “Stella, we’re all getting a little tired of your bullshit”
May 13th
40,085 notes
3 tags
May 13th
16,049 notes
8 tags
Walking home from school. Saw this: Thought, “where have I seen this before?” MY… GOD. It’s the unhelpful teacher meme!
May 12th
7 notes
May 12th
19,717 notes
3 tags
May 12th
58 notes
3 tags
May 12th
51,187 notes
3 tags
May 12th
15,360 notes
5 tags
May 11th
11 notes
6 tags
May 11th
169 notes
5 tags
May 11th
7 notes
5 tags
May 11th
11 notes
5 tags
May 11th
3 notes
May 11th
4,195 notes
5 tags
May 11th
32 notes
5 tags
May 11th
8 notes